After having a horrible cold, I finally got back in the gym after taking a week off last night. I am super sore today. I am starting to work out longer while I am at the gym and trying new things. When I first started working out, I let the guys intimidated me and other women there. I would not work out on certain equipment if I thought someone was watching me or if I thought I was in someones way. I was so scared of the gym that I stuck to cardio. It was what I knew. It took me about a month to get out of my comfort zone and I just started trying things. After awhile, people started giving me advice and helping me with my form. Now, I am the one giving advice to newer folks and helping them out. I still get advice from people and ask for new things to do but it is nice to see how far I have come.
I have lose 39 pounds. I am 1 pound away. I am pushing myself this year to get passed that. I would love to make it to 145. That would 11 more pounds to go. That hardest part about this is not the food or working out. It is the mental game. It is making myself believe I am no longer fat or big. I look in the mirror and I still see a big girl. I still see a girl who has a belly and a big chest and big legs. Others say this is not true. It is all mental. If you can overcome that aspect of it, you are golden.
I do love the way I look now, do not get me wrong. I just have a battle with myself some days to understand I am smaller. I have finally stopped ordering clothes to big. I am in mediums and larges. The days of XL clothes for me are done. I can finally go upstairs and not be winded. I love going on hikes and I am pushing myself to do more OCR races than ever. I am hoping to sign up for the Spartan Race in July.
Losing weight for me was at first, a way to get pregnant. I wanted to get rid of my PCOS. Now, it is a lifestyle. It is my way of living. When I do not go to the gym, I feel guilty. I love the gym. It is my place. My zone. It is where I can think. I go alone. I do not take friends with me. I do not like workout buddies. I find it is better for me to go, pump out an amazing workout and just rock it. I know for others, they do better with a friend.
Over the next year, I hope to tone my body to a more defined shape and to lose more of the flab. I am hoping posting it on here will help make me accountable. One of my big goals is to wear a bikini in May at the beach so fingers crossed I get to that! I will be updating along the way!