Friday, August 28, 2015

TTC Struggles

Lately it seems that everyone, their cousins and their best friends are pregnant. I am not sure if it has always been like this or if I just am noticing it more now that I am actually trying. My biggest problem is trying to be happy for others. I am glad and honestly happy that others are able to get pregnant but it is so hard to try and be there for that person when you, yourself are not able to be in the same position yet. 

I know it may seem selfish of me, but it is how I honestly feel. We have been trying for over a year and it is the most depressing thing as month after month go by. I am trying to be positive, but damn it, it sucks. I love all of my friends and family, I want to be able to be there for them. But at this point, I am not able to. I don't think I could even go to someone elses baby shower right now. I hate that. I hate feeling like this but honestly I am envious of them and I don't need to be there, dragging down the mood. 

One of the big parts that sucks is when someone will ask you why you do not have kids, are you planning on having kids, and what are you waiting for. Well lady bits have decided to not work so that could be why. Or I just want to be a crazy dog lady the rest of my life but hey! So if you are one of those people that ask married couples when they are going to have kids, take my advice and do not ask that question. You do not know why someone has not had kids yet nor do you need to know. 

I know it seems like I am being a butt today but I am just in one of those moods. I am not sure if it is the metformin, if my cycle is trying to show back up, or if I am just in a nasty mood. I hope this doesn't last all day! 

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