Monday morning I have to face the child/teenager/murderer, whatever you want to call him, that killed my nephew. We have court for a variety of reasons but I won't go that far right now. The news will tell everyone on Monday. I want so bad to tell this person how much hate and disgust I have towards them. I have yet to be able to forgive them. I can not offer forgiveness. I can not offer anything near that.
I have yet to hear sorry, an apology or anything. I don't believe my sister has either. How do I offer forgiveness to someone I loathe? Whether this was an accident or on purpose, I am very angry still. I am angry and mad and so many other emotions mixed in one.
On Monday, I have to keep my mouth shut, not throw a shoe at the twat face and just listen to what the Judge has learned and what he has to say. All I get to do is give a mean stink eye to the little twat.
I am not sure if I will ever find forgiveness in me. I am not sure I am capable of it at this point.