I know as time goes I am going to get better but at this point, it is so damn hard that every day is hard. With the rest of my life, things are good. Country Couture is great, my husband is great, my family is great my friends are amazing, and work is great. Emotionally though I am hurting. I never expected to hurt so bad from the loss of someone. I don't know at this point how to even put into words how I feel.
I shouldn't be able to google his name and find news reports about him. I shouldn't be able to see RIP before his name on his friends' post. There is a lot I should not be able to see at this point. I have my own regrets from what has happened. There are things I wish I did different but I can not change one thing. All I can do is fight for justice for him.
I am not sleepy well and it is due to things coming up that I can not mention. I just pray for justice. Accident or no accident, something must be done. I lost something I can never get back.