Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Wants and Needs

Right now in my life there are a lot of wants and needs. I am in the stage where I am having to figure out what is a want and a need. Chris and my self are in a place where we are trying to figure out where we are going in our marriage, what we want together and how to get there. We are perfectly happy with things the way they are but we want more and we want to grow our family. 

This year we have decided we want to grow our family at some point past just us and the dogs. Before we can even begin to do this we have to pay down a few things and I have to get my body physically in shape (I am not the healthiest cookie). I see so many people just jump into having a kid and I do not know how they do it. How does one just have a kid, not think about the repercussions and the financial aspect of it? I want a child, but I am so scared of all of the financial parts of it that I want to pay down some of our debt first. I do not know how long this will take, it could be 6 months, a year, 2 years but I want to bring a child into the world and I want to be able to take care of them without worrying where I will be able to buy things for them. 

With that said, I plan on giving up a lot in the next year. I plan on giving up beach trips, concerts, shopping (unless it is essential items, plus I have my own clothing store just upstairs), frivolous things I do not need, Starbucks, eating out (we really do not do this a lot), make up bags like Ipsy, and any other items I do not need. If it is something I do not need in my life..it is gone. I buy so much junk that I do not need. My closest is filled to the brim with clothes that I could wear something every day and for 3 weeks and still have more stuff. I really want to crack down and have my debt paid down and be able to have a child and the only way to do to is if I do this. 

This is also just to pay down my debt. This doesn't even began to cover baby stuff. This all makes my head spin and I am so excited for when it happens. I want it to happen right now but I have to be patient. Is anyone else going through this right now? I am a few years from 30, Chris is 30 and we both want a kid but want it to be right. We have been married a few years now. Either we are stressing to much or this is normal. 

Is anyone else going through this? 


13 comments:

  1. I think it is super smart to think about the finianical aspects of having a baby before just jumping in and having one. I know that many people do not think about this before having one and regret it later. As far as the subscription stuff that is something that you can always get back if you want it so feel free to assess what is important and get rid of the things that are not..unless that list of things to get rid of contains me...haha jk I know that will not be happening anytime soon! Love you!!! BBFF!

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  2. Mike and I are starting the talk about having kids. It seems every time I mention these same ideas to our friends who have children we get the same response. "We thought the same things, but you're never going to feel ready, so you might as well do it." I just don't feel comfortable bringing another person into this world when we aren't financially stable for just the 2 of us yet.

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  3. I am so excited for you and proud of you for really thinking about things... I think you are being smart... just remember there are always going to be unexpected expenses ;) Love your face!

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  4. Girl, YES! I feel ya on this one! My husband and I want kids but also want to 'do it right'. We don't want to jump into it without having some things handled first, like debt, etc. You're in the right mindset and it'll happen!

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  5. Yes! this is so smart of you and your husband. My fiancé and I are going through the same exact thing right now. We will be married in 3 months and then want to start a family within a year after we get married. That means we need to start cutting back and saving like crazy. I've started a spreadsheet with our bills and a payment plan that will reduce our credit card debt significantly in the next 6 months. We know cutting back will be tough, but it will be so worth it when we are ready to start a family and we know that we are financially stable. Good luck girl. You can do this!

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  6. I need to crack down and stop spending frivolously. Starbucks must be insane for what they charge! psh, get outta here with that.

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  7. I struggle with wants vs. needs ALL THE TIME!!!!

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  8. Good luck with all of this! The struggle is real for all of us!

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  9. I have to commend you BIG time for this... so many people I know just jump into having a child because one day they thought it was a great idea. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but I REALLY respect you for doing it with such plan and organization. Getting healthy is huge, especially because of everything a body goes through during pregnancy, and also the finances - even bigger and craziest. Pay off the debt and get a good "nest egg" set. I think you're going to be make the best mom. I hope 2014 is good to you!

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  10. Whatever the single girl version of this is, I go through it all the time. I'm going through it right now! Money is one of my biggest worries and I've decided I really want to get that in order. I started using Mint.com to track all my spending and help with my budgets. I've been using it for a little over a month and it's made a HUGE difference for me. I can set up goals like "Save $500" or "Pay Off Loan" and shows me how much I need to put towards those goals to do that and how long it will take me. I would HIGHLY recommend using that if you don't use something similar already.

    Also, is there a Plato's Closet anywhere near you? They will take gently worn, previous season clothes and pay you cash for them.

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  11. I think it is so amazing that you guys are thinking about all the preparations and not rushing like so many people! you will clearly be wonderful parents :)

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  12. i still wish you'd hold off on the baby thing, we need a good booze day with Chels before kids come into play! Buuut, with that being said, it's extremely responsible of you two to be thinking of the financial side of the situation first. I don't think you're by any means "over weight" like some people but I'm totally here to help encourage you to get out and run more :) You can always google talk w me and we can run together!!! I'm ready for kiddos and I'm not even married so you're not crazy for wanting kids already girl. As a matter of fact, if you had a kiddo, I'd HAVE to fly out there to touch it, hold it, adopt it and maybe even bring it home with me. Loooove ya!

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  13. We've been going through the same thing!!
    We decided to book our big Paris trip before we had a baby. We've been making slight adjustments to our spending patterns - avoiding the impluse buying and unnecessary spending. I was pregnant last year and realised how badly I want to get my body in shape. That brief pregnancy made me realise that we are never ready but we will make it work.
    I recommend making a "Before Baby bucket List" - everything you want to do before you have a baby (things like sleeping as late as you want, doing something spontaneous etc). It's great fun and lets you enjoy your pre-parent time!
    Good luck!
    (sorry for the LONG comment!)

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