Friday, August 9, 2013

Erin-Party Girl's Guide to the Country

Hey guys! I am on vacation and while I am away I have a series of wonderful guest posters set up. This one..Erin..love this chick. She is what I would if I was not married and was wild and free! Her blog is amazing..so go check her out..after you read the post!

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Hey guys. I'm Erin and I run a little blog called The Party Girl's Guide. Rachel has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read, and also one of my favorite interweb friends. I love her because she is this super friendly small town chick with a clothing company, and if there are two things I am not it is country or stylish. I still shop at Old Navy for crying out loud, I could learn a thing or two from her.

I do however live in the country at the moment so I try to embrace the small town life the best I can, even though as a former Detroiter I find myself missing the city quite a lot. There have been a few moments since moving where I find myself in some serious culture shock, so I figure I would channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy today and give ya'll a list of ways to know you aren't in the city anymore.



You might not live in the city anymore if...

1. If on more than one occasion you have seen signs on the side of the road advertising goats for sale. And the county fair has just about any animal you would never want available for purchase. I am still not sure if they are intended as pets or food so I just don't ask.

2. If you pass more horses than cars on your drive in to work, and your dog has tried to start a fight or two with the hoofed creatures. I mean he is a Detroit dog after all, we have only been here two years there is some thug left in him, it's not his fault.

3. If you frequently have to slow your roll because some big ass tractor is taking up two lanes on the road, you might not be in the city anymore.

4. If there are actual Amish people living within 5 miles of your house, you are probably not in the city...unless it is the Breaking Amish crazies, who the hell knows where they live these days. Also, the Amish sell some delicious honey, pumpkin breads, apple butter, dilly beans, and what not try it when you have the chance.

5. If when your boyfriend does a favor for someone at work and they thank him to the tune of 5 mason jars full of moonshine, you are definitely not in the city anymore. Back in Detroit we drank vodka and maybe some malt liquor if we were feeling rowdy, but around here it is all about the white lightning.

6. If your greatest fear leaving your office after dark is no longer a bum stabbing, you but now an animal attack, you are country as heck.

7. If you frequently get to drive around on a Gator for work (which you had never heard of before moving) and love every minute of it, you are no longer in the city. Side note: if you have never driven a Gator, find a way to do so as soon as possible.

8. If your friends and neighbors spend more money on their giant ass truck than they do on the house they live in, you are not in the city anymore. And what is that all about anyway?

9. If people frequently try to pawn off dead meat and fish they have recently killed you are certainly no longer in the city. We brought bottles of wine as hostess gifts where I come from, not animal flesh, but whatever tickles your pickle I guess.

10. And lastly, if you live over an hour from the closest mall, you are not in the city anymore...and that my friends is the single worst part about rural livin.

If you want to read about my antics trying to fit in in a little tiny town, come visit me at The Party Girl's Guide...maybe I will even give you a sip of the shine.

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4 comments:

  1. So true. Every single one. Heading over to check out your blog now! We are in the same boat, I moved to the sticks about 2 years ago and now I live near the Amish and nowhere near a mall (or a grocery store, for that matter). HUGE change of pace :)

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  2. You are too funny Erin! I knew that this would be one interesting post lol

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  3. Hi from your newest follower, Wonderful at Home. Found you on Passionfruit. I LOVE this post. I was just posting some pictures about us never living in the city again. I especially love the one about getting stuck behind the tractor as that happened to me like 4 times in the first couple weeks we moved here. I don't live as country as far as "on land" or anything, we live in a subdivision, but in a much much smaller town,with country surrounding us... away from the big city. I LOVE it!

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  4. Haha these are great! I have encountered a few of these things!

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